I am not lost
I remember a frozen pint of beer -- at least I think it was beer -- in the street in Reykjavik, a snowball fight with Zenella outside Hallgrímskirkja, the pipes clanking in the mission building, huge basalt cliffs, the birds over the Tjornin, fulmars nesting and asparagus soup. Each of these things the acme of its kind.I remember a cappuccino as Mrs Zen confirmed that Zenella would come to be, smoking on the patio at Yeronga, a picnic by the river with Zenella propped up between my legs, a hot kiss in Byron, sex at the Shingle Inn, she is so warm and this is where I want to be. Each of these things the acme of its kind.
I remember chaos on the dock in Bissau, the ropes and yells, Justino Delgado rocking the boat, BAGGAGE in Ghana, three men dead in a tree in the rain, our car the lights go out when he brakes, the whores in the courtyard full of joie de vivre, my brain boiling in my head. Each of these things the acme of its kind.
I remember lying quietly with E, her heart beating strong and just for me, kissing in the dark, the weight of her on my hips, her magnificent tits in my hands, the heat we generate, kissing me like a boy kisses, for a moment I am in bloom and I do not want to be anywhere else. Each of these things the acme of its kind.
I remember singing my soul out in a muddy field, we catch each other's eye and we're like YES, and off my head in the long grass, music moving me and we are all singing together. Each of these things the acme of its kind.
I remember Cantona bringing magic to the pitch, we forget we are among the "enemy" and we leap for the sky, I remember our voices are one voice, marching on together, champions, on top of the world. Each of these things the acme of its kind.
I remember holding my son as he slept, safe in my arms, safe forever. I know I can do harm, but I have never meant to, and I know I can feel joy, because I have felt it. I do not have much I want to celebrate in my life, but each thing I celebrate is the best it could ever have been. I have a good heart; it will not be broken forever; I will find my way home to the beach where we ran and laughed, I know I will. I am not lost; I have just forgotten where I am. I will remember; it will be okay.
posted by Dr Zen @ 7:55 pm
8 Comments:
blah blah blah Gunt. Still jealous after all these years, son?
I awoke this morning when my wife brought me coffee and toast, we then made lover for an hour and watched some TV in bed, got up had lunch. Then went out for a Drive in my brand new(on Friday)£30 000 BMW. It was the first time she had been in it. We then had a meal out. Came home a watched some HD TV on a 40" LCD TV while sat on a pistachio leather sofa in a new £60 000 extension. I have a wife we are very happy (now) I have a daughter at Aberystwyth Uni, she's having a great time and is doing very well on her course, she has a car and a job and no money worries.I have two cars the sensible one above and a mad VX220, I have really nice home, i have money in the bank and i could buy just about anything i wanted. I have a good circle of friends and family who would be here for me if i needed them. The only thing of yours that i could possibly be jealous of is your intellect but, if i had it i would probably be as miserable and as useless as you are so you can keep it.
It's all material things, which you are at least half lying about at least. I don't care much about the material and frankly, I'd hate to be you if that's what I'd have to do to get it. Be happy though. I wish happiness for all sentient beings, including you.
ps I don't care.
I don't care, you sad cunt.
You're a sad fool, Gunt. You don't "goad" me because I don't care about you. That's how it works. You care though. You turn up three times a day, minimum, to see what I have to say, so that you can try to get my attention by whining at me. So I felt charitable this morning and indulged you a bit, but now you're done.
well he goads me and let me say Mr. Anony or Mr. Gunt whoever you are...when you use your blessings to hurt others, you don't deserve them. I'm hoping this is normal rapartee between the two of you and not anything heartfelt, because if it is you're the one I'm sorry for...
Well, it's only heartfelt on his part.
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