If I introduced myself to alt.writing...
My name's Dr Zen.
Well, obviously, it isn't. That's the name I masquerade under. Or behind. Any takers? Do you masquerade under a false name or behind it? Bugger. That's not a good start.
Anyway. I'm *mumbles*, married with three kids and an imaginary dog. No, I'm not married to the dog. That's not what I meant.
I live in Brisbane. I'm not sharing the address but if anyone thinks I wouldn't call them a cunt to their face, I'm often to be found slouching around the Carindale shopping centre, and will be glad to re-educate you on that score. (Regulars of Carindale shopping centre will know, of course, that I have at one time or another called just about everyone there a cunt. Well, muttered it at them. Okay, sometimes I've only thought it, but *quite fiercely*, so it very much felt like muttering. All right, yes, that does mean that the aforementioned regulars only know they are cunts if they're mindreaders and if they were mindreaders they would be living lives of enormous wealth and sending someone else to do their shopping.)
I work as a copy editor. Yes, that does mean my command of English is vastly superior to yours. Yes, it does mean I am always going to be right about absolutely everything.
I’m here to talk about writing. Write about writing, I mean. I might also talk about it but you won’t be hearing it. Unless you’re in my downstairs room. If you are, fuck off out of it. I get more than enough vermin as it is.