Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How are you?

I am depressed and riven by envy of people who seem to know nothing about poker but are able to play professionally
how couldn't I be good enough if they are?
I hate my job but I have no alternative. And I mean hate it enough that I try to find ways not to bother doing it
My boss is a cunt
stupid and arrogant in about equal measure
which makes her difficult to deal with
I am barely able to hold my marriage together long enough to get myself and my kids home
and her lack of commitment to going means I have to do it on my own
which is tough
I have a broken finger, which is occasionally painful
My back hurts a lot, for some reason my bed has stopped being supportive
I have a headache
I hate everything and everyone and I'm unable to stop
I also have a cold
It's excruciatingly hot and oppressively humid
The children are badly behaved at night and I find myself in the role of discipliner, which I don't relish
Otherwise I'm good

IOW, don't ask.


At 1:22 pm, Blogger Arleen said...


At 8:05 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boots sez:

I had a shit time yesterday morning, but I took a nap and that helped me over it; this morning the world is neutral by default, not abominably fucked.

Listen, I know you're puzzled to anger over the poker thing, but it occurs that your post "on information" may contain a perspective on it that could be of value to you. Skill at a thing is a form of information, and sometimes not having a particular type of information can be advantageous. By using your skill you seem like a townsman in poker who is being overrun by ignorant mongols.

Well what the fuck, if you can laugh over it that's a step forward.

At 7:12 am, Anonymous High_in_the_Sky said...

Eat a live toad before breakfast, and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day

At 11:06 am, Anonymous RejectTheBrainwash.com said...

I hate my job but I have no alternative.


At 2:56 pm, Blogger Paula Light said...

My marriage is a total wreck, my neck hurts like a bitch, and it's going down into the fucking 30s here tonight, so there.

At 3:00 pm, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Sorry, Z, let me rephrase that "I hate my job and have no alternative that doesn't involve making my children starve".

Paula, I'd love a night in the 30s. Maybe we could swap marriages. I'm sure they'd love each other and we're both grown up enough to just fucking get along.

At 6:50 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boots sez:

A night in the 30s? It's 9F outside at the moment. Yesterday's *high* temp was 29F.

My right shoulder-blade keeps itching no matter how many times I scratch it on the door jamb, does that help?

The frigging woodstove doesn't relight itself in the morning either, and box matches are much lower in quality than they were a mere 20 years ago.

I'm sure I can think of something else that isn't as I'd prefer, if I put enough energy into it. I'll get back to you soonest.

At 6:59 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boots sez:

"I hate my job and have no alternative that doesn't involve making my children starve"

You might wish to rephrase that yet again to something more correct, like "putting my children at risk". Or perhaps unlike others, in your case their starvation is a certainty and it's better that they be well fed while their da's soul rots.

Yes, I know that I'm a barbaric heathen, asshole, and all-around dick. It's a handicap.

At 7:00 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

S-C, your dietary habits are disgusting.

At 12:22 am, Anonymous high-in-the-sky said...

"S-C, your dietary habits are disgusting."

Grant, that wasn't you. LOL. Hey, like Gillian McKeith, I don't have to eat the shit I suggest for other peoples' diets.

Zen, it was a shame Grant's comment got canned, it was, (for him), quite exceptional. Sometimes I suspect that he's not quite as stupid as he makes himself out to be.

At 7:04 am, Blogger $Zero said...

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Your kids would starve if you sought out alternative ways to make a living.

Keep trying to convince yourself of that and you'll allow the talentless bluffers to win every single time.

At 7:46 am, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Grunt's post looked like more of the same to me, the same bitter lovelorn whining.

At 7:49 am, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Zero, spoken truly as a man with no responsibilities.

Changing your life is easy when it's just you. But when change for you means change for five people, the inertia that you must overcome is huge. You can't understand if you're not there.

At 8:33 am, Blogger $Zero said...

Dude, that's how the man keeps you in your place -- making you believe you've got no other "responsible" choice. It gives you a nice juicy excuse to avoid any risk whatsoever.

Anyway, it's hard to take your desire for financial independence seriously after you turned away $100 just because I asked to you to make a few needed tweaks on your three paragraph review.

My point is, you have way more options than you give yourself credit for.

Don't let the brainwash get the best of you.

And stop deluding yourself that your kids will "starve" if you pursue a better life. It just isn't so. The opposite is more likely. Your misery can be far less nutritious for them.

At 8:36 am, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Dude whatever. The "Man" didn't make me have children. And you turned writing a simple thing into a nightmare with a cavalcade of demands, which if I'd spent the hours it required to meet them, would have made working for you totally uneconomic.

At 8:38 am, Blogger $Zero said...

See that?

You do have a wonderful imagination after all.

At 8:44 am, Blogger $Zero said...

The "man" is who makes you believe that you have no choice but to be a miserable slave.

But not without your full cooperation.

At 8:45 am, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Just fuck off.

At 8:46 am, Blogger $Zero said...


At 8:47 am, Blogger $Zero said...

Anyway, don't get angry at me, Dude.

I'm just trying to help.

At 10:42 am, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Fair enough. YOu won't be "helping" in these comments any more though. Since you do not have sufficient respect for me not to plague me when you're asked not to, I've had to switch the comment moderation on again. That's specifically to moderate you, Zero. I've only turned it on twice so far. Both times were to force you to comply with requests that, were you possessed of an ounce of decency, you would have complied with without needing to be forced.

It's easy for you to think that all it takes is to "just do what you want" because what you want is very easily achieved. Others have more baggage, which creates more inertia. You don't understand that, fine, but you are not going to keep on displaying your lack of understanding in my comments. When you're clear on that, I'll switch the moderation back off.

At 5:48 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boots sez:

Zen, having supported a family of 5 on one income for two decades, I can relate to your concern. Between kids and a wife, there is a lot of demanding going on. It is not easy.

Still, you cannot leave yourself in a situation that will eventually turn the love you feel into resentment. You can't take care of them if you're not also taking care of yourself.

I am reading that currently your wife is making the move your problem. There's probably no way you can force her to pull her own weight.

Sometimes you just have to tough it out. One day maybe you'll wake up and find that you have the faith in yourself that you deserve. If, when, that happens let me know and we'll have a long-distance wake for the old fearful you.


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