A read of Teh Graun

This is what I get from my Graun feed:

Network Rail faces a huge fine over Paddington crash. No one is going to jail though, sadly. Corporacrats who put money ahead of safety need to be punished.

Teens to get "free" mobiles, paid for by ads. Nothing that encourages teenagers to have mobile phones is a good thing. They are already morons and more texting is not going to improve that. Those who think that mobiles are a good idea for safety reasons etc are kidding themselves. Mrs Zen claims to need a mobile phone in case the car breaks down and she is alone. Yeah, okay, that's good, but leaving it on the dining-room table when you go out defeats the purpose. Indeed, I know she's bullshitting because, were she not, it would just permanently sit in the glove compartment of the car.

BP is under pressure to link executive pay to safety. This is a good idea. Read how much Lord Browne gets though. Because drilling up oil is just so taxing for the strategist. His severance pay is fantastic. You explain if you can why someone who is leaving a firm should be paid anything though. A merry "fuck off then" should surely be enough.

Paisley and Adams meet. A cynical and depraved carve-up or a wonderful coming together of NI's opposites? Well, they are politicians, what do you think?

Blair warns Iran over captured sailors. I don't think spying in waters that Iran claims was a good idea. This has a horrible irony:

Foreign office minister David Triesman told Sky News yesterday: "We don't know where [they are], and I wish we did. We are asking to know whether they are being moved around inside Iran. We have been insisting that they should be released immediately; there is no reason to hold them."

One hopes that the sailors do not end up paying a price for neocon (and nutter Persian) blundering in the region, and that they are returned unharmed.

An interview with Tom Hurndall's mum. This is a very sad story, a young life tragically wasted by the IDF, who then proceeded to cover it up. Not all hatred of Israel is motivated by antisemitism; some is powered by its army's being run by shitheads.

West tries to unite Zimbabwe rebels. The West probably needs to have a clearer understanding of how it is seen in Zimbabwe. It's not only Mugabe who is anti-West and resents Western, particularly British, meddling. With some reason, it has to be said. I am not convinced that changing thugs will improve matters much but symbolically, it would perhaps inspire hope. However, it has to be a concern that infighting in Zanu-PF will spill into factional warfare, leading to a broader civil war in Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe is in many ways a disaster waiting to strike (a worse disaster than that it is already suffering). I'm not sure that the West does have a useful role in Zimbabwe, except as a counterweight to China.

CCTVs hold key to Woolmer murder. It's sad that Woolmer, a fine coach, should have become the fodder of such marvellous drama, but that's the kind of thing that happens in an absurd world. I don't think it really matters who topped him; the speculation is where the fun is. The villain (or villains) being caught will be an anticlimax.

This guy needs to get over himself though. It's not a "stereotype" that Pakistan goes off when it loses a big cricket match. It's just what happens. The comment by "anthropic" sums it up: the coach of a team is found murdered after that team has just lost a match to absolute nobodies (and more interestingly, had already lost to the weak Windies team) and there's some speculation about match fixing or factionalism in the team. Well, dur. Anyway, the factions in Pakistan's cricket team are not figments of the racist West's imagination, but something the players talk about and acknowledge. And pretending match fixing does not happen won't make it go away.

Meanwhile, the entirely nonvolatile Indians have turned on their "selfish" team. "Why are India rubbish at cricket?" is a question akin to "Why are England rubbish at football?" except you can't blame Steve McLaren for the cricket. The answers are probably the same. In both places, modestly talented players are overhyped but don't perform. Each side lacks crucial elements of success (England's woes in football are not just tactical but include not having a leftsided midfielder or a creative centrocampista, while India does not have and has not had for some time a decent quick).

Straw acts to head off Miliband challenge. Yawn. Is that the time already? All right, look. Miliband is another toff in social democrat clothing, a horrid Blairite who will continue to serve up the same authoritarian gruel. A knownothing blowhard who does not even have the advantage that Blair had of being a personable and fluent speaker. Brown is a technocrat, who has manipulated the British economy well but has left it somewhat a hostage to fortune by allowing it to be funded mostly by personal debt. Still, given the savage destruction it was handed by Thatcher, who destroyed any prospect of the UK's actually producing anything except bankers, what else could he do? Labour has to opt for Brown. Once out from under the dead weight of Blair, he'll kick Cameron's arse and win the next election.

The Bunter takes a crack at domestic slavery. As usual with the Bunter, it's well meaning but misguided. The UK should not allow the import of domestics period. If the rich cunts don't like it, show them the door. They don't pay taxes in the UK anyway. Why the fuck are we pandering to a bunch of horrid Ruskies and Arabs? Only because Labour has a serious case of HNWI worship. Which is odd. Because we're supposed to be teh fucking socialists, dudes!

Something about an Edith Piaf biopic, which I didn't read. Cinema articles are a turnoff for me. I like to watch films but I hate reading about filmmakers and filmmaking. The former are studies in tedium and the latter is bullshitted about more than anything this side of sex.

Something about some guy called Connor Oberst, which I also didn't read. What goes for filmmakers and filmmaking goes double for musicians and music. Love the headline though. We all hope not to be tools, Connor, but it's not always something you can help.

Finally, and I can be confident that there is not a soul who has got this far bar me, Scotland have beaten Georgia at football. Was it uncharitable of me to have as my first thought, Georgia scored, how rank are Scotland then? Apparently, Georgia were a good match for Scotland but the Jocks prevailed. Good on them. Scotland are, always have been (Ally's Tartan Army notwithstanding) and always will be shit at football, but it's funny as all get-out to watch the silly sods get their hopes up and have them cruelly dashed. One waits breathlessly to see how they fuck it up this time. And yes, I know, many feel the same way about England, but how dare you mock our pain? Anyway, our fate is already known. Out of the quarters on pens innit.

posted by Dr Zen @ 7:11 pm