Monday, January 26, 2009


So I gather up what I loosely refer to as my balls, and ask my boss if I can keep my job if I go home to the UK.
She's more positive than I expect. She thinks the work would "tail off" but obv. I can live with that.
It's not a whole week's work each week though, so I need more. P found a place that works up bids and tenders, who look like they need editors at least sometimes. P is good at finding things. She is wasted on the bullshit jobs she mostly does, but life wastes most of us. It's nice to have a friend whose idea of caring about me is to try to help me, rather than solely consider me as someone they can whine to about their life and just not bother with when times are good.

So that all sounds good but you just know it can't be all good, right? Yah, obv. Mrs Zen is throwing up roadblocks as quickly as she can. Her problem is that her life here is really easy, and she doesn't mind that. It's all about leverage. Because I don't pay the rent and because a court would award her the kids if we split, she knows I can't invite her to fuck off if she doesn't like it. So she must have a car, four-to-six weeks off when we get there "to settle the kids in", no drop in her standard of living, a garden, live in Brighton not a town near it, all her stuff, etc etc etc.

So instead of my concern being that I need the other ten hours of the week to be filled somehow, I have a ton of stuff I have somehow to make happen.

Or lie about. There's always that. Yeah yeah, you can have a car. Yeah, we will have the same standard of living. No, it's fine if you don't work.

The problem is, we get there and suddenly she's faced with work or starve, it's not going to make a good basis for moving forward with our marriage.

But I will be home.


At 6:51 pm, Blogger Looney said...

Good luck, man. I hope you guys make it home in one piece... well, to your home.

At 7:20 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boots sez:

I'm slow (not new news) but I don't see why you can't just honestly tell her that you'll do everything in your power to give her all those thing. She ought to realize that life is not always predictable.

In any case it sounds as if things are moving in a hopeful direction. You received some excellent news from your employer imo.

I agree fully about P being a total cunt. <g>

At 2:53 am, Blogger Looney said...

She ought to realize that life is not always predictable.

I suspect he might not believe her quite that reasonable...

At 8:06 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boots sez:

I suspect he might not believe her quite that reasonable...

He could be pleasantly surprised. In any case I'm glad to see him homeward bound, I've heard that he wasn't so miserable before moving to Australia.

At 9:30 am, Blogger Robert McClelland said...

I've heard that he wasn't so miserable before moving to Australia.

No, he wasn't. He was gruff but lovable back then.

At 10:05 am, Blogger Dr Zen said...

Hey Robert. Long time since i've seen your name. I like to think I'm still lovable btw.

At 12:30 pm, Blogger P. said...

OMG, Zen, did you just sock up as McClelland? I thought he'd died and gone to troll heaven. Nice to see you're still about, R.

PS - boots? Fuck off. ;)

At 12:30 pm, Anonymous SereneBabe said...

The song "Piss Up a Rope" (Ween) came on as I was reading this post. Timely.

At 3:11 pm, Blogger Robert McClelland said...

Nice to see you're still about, R.

I'm always about, P. It's good to see that you're blogging strange person that I have no idea who they are.

At 3:19 pm, Blogger Robert McClelland said...

I like to think I'm still lovable btw.

Melancholy but lovable doesn't have the same ring to it, though.

At 3:20 pm, Blogger Dr Zen said...

True, and actually I find miserable shits hard to love too.

At 6:54 pm, Blogger Looney said...

Robert! Hey, dood! Where have you been?

At 8:15 pm, Blogger Father Luke said...

Hey, Zenner.

Home has a nice ring to it.
Home is nice. Godspeed.

- -
Father Luke

At 4:01 pm, Blogger Paula Light said...

Good luck, Z.

At 5:09 pm, Blogger Sal said...

As Father Luke sez, Godspeed, Zen.

You were never happy with the move south. She won't be happy with the move north. I don't know what's to be done, but at some point you have to get yourself out of the pit you're in for your sanity and your health.

(Kudos to P., whoever she may be. And boots is as lovable as ever.)

At 10:23 pm, Blogger PJ said...

I'm glad you're going home, Zen. You'll feel closer to being whole again, and that's a good thing.


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