Sunday, September 14, 2008

Black sky, silver moon

So I am watching her high in the sky, spinning in a wheel. It is a miracle of centrifugal force.

It is a miracle we are here. I do not care what alignment of atoms, stars and magic made us, we are here.

WE ARE HERE. And I love my child, so fiercely it burns inside, it makes a mark that no passage of time can rub out.

I am looking out into the sullen night and I love her, and I am thinking, I know it is a tragedy we have to give it up, but we have to be here.

It is a deep dark night and the moon is silver and beautiful. I love her so fiercely it humbles me to know that whatever else I am it can love like this.

***

You know, I did not forget about you. That is what I wanted to say. For me, love never dies. It burns a mark a mile wide and I cannot scrub it out.

I do not understand people who can cancel it out. Just like that. That is what I wanted to say. I do not understand that it can be something you just say goodbye to.

That is what I needed to say to you. It's not deep or complex; it's simple and I think it's real.

I think it's real. Because everything else is a coat we wear. But when someone reaches out and touches you, it's something you cannot fake.

I think it's real. You found something inside me, or beside me, I don't know. A bell, you struck it with a hammer. Something without a name, you made it chime.

It still rings for you.

I do not know how to forget about you. I do not know how to stop wanting to kiss you. When I see your picture, all I think is that I want to touch you, to run my hands through your hair, wordlessly, not destroying everything with stupid words, not breaking everything with a world of thought.

I have nothing else to say. I mean, why bother? What else even begins to matter?

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