Dress redux
So my boss's response is "we've run companies for 25 years and always had a dress code". Right. So if I go before the beak for battering the missus, it would be a valid defence to say "I've been married for 25 years and have always battered the missus"?So that was a nice rational discussion. And all my respect for my boss down the drain.
posted by Dr Zen @ 12:08 pm
26 Comments:
So that was a nice rational discussion. And all my respect for my boss down the drain.
you mean, running businesses for twenty five years isn't enough to gain your respect?
ba'dum, chsh!
anyway, her response may just have had a lot to do with what Arleen and the others were noting in your original essay.
egos can be incredibly fragile.
especially among control freaks.
thus making "management" types outrageously defensive.
i've certainly learned THAT the hard way.
being rational just ain't enough.
especially in the business world.
so either kiss ass in relative misery (in matching shirt and tie) or join me and boots in our relative absurdities.
or... be way more careful editing your next human rights proposal.
The point of my "original essay" was that her requirement was entirely arbitrary, that there was no good reason to have a dress code and that it was simply what she wanted. So, given that I believe that good communication consists in stating clearly what you mean, I stated clearly what I meant. As it happens, I didn't expect a positive response, no matter how I phrased it. But if you don't ever say "that's shit", people just keep being and doing shit, and you feel rubbish for not even trying to stop it.
all true.
but it may also be true that if you made the edit that Arleen suggested, you may have gotten a different result.
No, I don't think so. Which is why I didn't. I'm expressing indignation. I know that she won't see reason, dude, for the simple reason that it's not reasonable in the first place.
As it happens, I didn't expect a positive response, no matter how I phrased it.
then why did you lose any respect for your boss?
But if you don't ever say "that's shit", people just keep being and doing shit, and you feel rubbish for not even trying to stop it.
agreed. but if you purposely take the extra time and care to avoid making people feel personally defensive about the shit in question, they may see your reasoning and not react nearly as emotionally about it.
IOW: the rest of your "essay" made a brilliant and engaging and inspiring case for a more happy and productive adult environment.
if you hadn't added the personal part, your boss would either state her own reasoning for the dress code, perhaps even convincing you, or she may have become enlightened to your argument and been glad to implement your suggestion.
i'm such a diplomat these days.
University of Hard Knocks Post Graduate Study.
"then why did you lose any respect for your boss?"
It was halfway down the drain when she mentioned it in the first place. Her reply was so lame that the other half was very easy.
The whole point of my essay, Zero, is that she has no reason for her dress code but her personal wanting and that's shit.
she has no reason for her dress code but her personal wanting and that's shit.
perhaps. but now you'll never know for sure (unless you attempt a second inquiry -- that gets my vote just for the challenge of it, though i recommend running it by Arleen unless you don't mind getting fired).
in the meantime, enjoy wearing the big fluffy ears, and red nose, and of course, the clown pants.
anyway, i know just how you feel.
i've been dealing with a control freak for the last several months.
i've been sooo tempted to say just what i feel about his ego-fucked behavior, but i know for certain that he couldn't handle even a hint of it.
although, he definitely has matured quite a bit from all those years ago during our first business ventures (one guesses that he feels wayyy more financially secure these days now that he's a millionaire).
but he has not matured nearly enough for completely open and honest rational discussion.
and after decades of experience, i've decided that few people ever do mature to that level.
so, the understanding has to come from my end, not his.
as much as that annoys me.
boots sez:
Dude, bosses are almost without exception nazis at heart just as if it was part of the job description. Your choices are basically to suck it up (whining over it on weekends optional) or walk out the door. The only other alternative is to be So Fucking Good that you can say "fuck you" and keep your job (and I've done that, literally... surely you must be hugely impressed).
There are a few jobs where dress codes don't apply. Freelance writers, bank robbers, blights on society, that kind of thing. Though bank robbers often wear orange for some reason.
So my boss's response is "we've run companies for 25 years and always had a dress code". Right. So if I go before the beak for battering the missus, it would be a valid defence to say "I've been married for 25 years and have always battered the missus"?
What a perfect analogy, ffs talk about a total lack of perspective.
Note a dress code is an arbitrary and harmless rule impossed by an employer. Battering ones wife is illegal unjust and morally reprehensible! but may be you batter your wife and think its trivial some men do actually think that way.
It seems being told what to wear is a form of imasculation for you.
Its all about ego isnt it.
I know it's tough for you to understand, Gunt, but for some of us it's important to resist abuses of power so that even though we remain slaves, we can maintain an illusion of freedom.
When you are a Boss you have power over people, and not even you could resist exercising it over you subordinates, in one way or the other, be honest! I'm sure you would rigidly impose rules on how certain words could be used. You have after all pissed clients off over such things. A boss telling you to smarten up is not abuse of power.
Oh Dave i forgot to say if its about freedom i'm sure you could quit and return to a life of solitude in your basement and wear no clothes at all.
Exercising and abusing power are different things, Gunt. I've been the boss, and no, I didn't feel the need to tell people what they should wear.
One of your big failings, Gunt, is that you like to spout off about things you don't know anything about. A senior editor is *supposed to* impose word choices on his or her team. That's because there are genuine choices available and it is part of his or her job to enforce consistency. There's good reason for it. Try to keep in mind that what is wrong with my boss's standpoint is that her demand is arbitrary.
Is it not just possible that her boss turned up one day and told her to smarten up the staff? Bosses of bosses are notoriously picky on things that they spot on their five-seconds-a-year flying visit.
She doesn't have a boss.
Wut's the cunt say about drinking on the job?
Dr Zen said...
A senior editor is *supposed to* impose word choices on his or her team.
Yeah Dave you have had "word choice imposed on you by Authors and you've spat the dumby so to speak even blogged about it. Personally i would find having "word choices imposed" on me far more arbitrary and abusive, because often the choice of word comes down to simple opion/taste and ultimately pedantic s.
Dress codes are daft when not front office, but you reaction and your letter is way over the top. Get some perspective, may be if you were more of a people person you would find, a very minor imposition easier to cope with.
"She doesn't have a boss."
Ah, there's the rub, she's never known the Kantian categorical imperative.
May I suggest you turn transvestite and see if that gets your point accros?
Sopwith-Camel said...
May I suggest you turn transvestite and see if that gets your point accros?
I think you hit the nail no the head she's sick of Dave's Sarongs.
Gunt, I think you may have taken leave of your senses. The *point* of an editor is to impose word choices. It may annoy the illiterate from time to time, but it's still the job.
The rest of what you have to say seems to be an extended version of "I like to bend over". Yeah all right, Gunt. You like to take it up the arse from your bosses. But we don't all worship authority, particularly when it's based on coercion.
You would argue till you were blue in the face with any superior or subordinate about semantics, god forbid if you ever came across a person exactly like yourself........It would have to be a male and i reckon you'd fuck each other to death.
I haven't had a boss for 25 years!
c'mon, let's get cranking, here.
new post!
new post!
new post!
Zen readers unite...
new post!
new post!
new post!
"I haven't had a boss for 25 years"
Neither did the crackhead homeless guy on my street-corner. Not having a boss in itself isn't a show of merit.
Not having a boss in itself isn't a show of merit.
i have more respect for a miserable bossless crackhead than a miserable employee.
Anonymous Anonymous or Gutless? said...
Neither did the crackhead homeless guy on my street-corner. Not having a boss in itself isn't a show of merit.
No but being your own boss is preferable to having to "bend over" like Dave in his work place.
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