Monday, January 17, 2005

Cut and dried

A room
Full of delicate cutters
All sitting down, the room has many doors
All but one of them are closed


Why cut?

24/7 we learn who we are supposed to be. Our textbook is ads and TV programs that show life as cut and dried.

Kids don't know who they are. Or who they're going to be. They know there is a disconnection between it and what it should be.

What does should be mean? If that was obvious, we would not be cutting ourselves. The inability to express what you feel is what drives the young to try to express their hurt through hurt. As Kristin Hersh suggested, it's the only door that's open.

What does should be mean? It means that there is something and somebody that can be disappointed in us. It means we can be not worthwhile if we don't measure up. It means no one tells us that we can decide for ourselves what the measure is.

This is a world that judges worth. This is a world in which your parents, your peers and everything you know tell you that you will be judged, weighed and cast aside if you don't make the grade.

This is a world that you can never feel at home in and that drives you to feel that you or it must be destroyed. You're easier.

What does should be mean? I don't know. My scars have faded. I'm none the wiser.

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