Philosophy
Every effort you make is wasted. Time makes a fool of you if you stop believing the world is pointless and absurd.
My father in law is proud of himself. He worked hard and retired early. He never spent much time with the kids. He couldn't, he was working hard.
He retired early and now he can go fishing. Hours in a boat. He doesn't read much. He doesn't care to read.
He worked hard so that he could sit in a boat for hours.
Sometimes I believe you should strive to make the world around you better for everyone in it. Sometimes I believe it is vanity that lies behind that belief. Sometimes I believe there is no belief that does not in some way reflect our own vanity. Sometimes I believe it doesn't matter so long as you are kind. Sometimes I just say fuck it because most of the time kindness goes unrewarded. Sometimes I remind myself that virtue is supposed to be its own reward. I wonder what my father in law would say. His idea of virtue is to be a white working man who likes a yarn at the club, a steak now and then and three beers in the afternoon. His idea of virtue is he has no idea what virtue is and he does not care.
I cannot continue to despise the world because I want to be loved too much. I have to continue to despise the world because without hatred I am just a body floating in the ether.
posted by Dr Zen @ 12:39 pm
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