Friday, June 11, 2004

Overthinking in circles...

... would make a great title for this blog.

I don't know how you stop doing it, outside of a good few big glasses of bourbon straight (I've earned it -- accountancy and finance fill my days -- and most of my nights this week).

Listening to Neither Washington nor Moscow today took me back (new CDs). I suppose I must have bought the vinyl in 1985 or somewhere near. The miner's strike.

It made me think, when you've felt the baton across your ear, you know that class struggle can be real.

I was willing to fight when I was a youngster. I marched against racism when it was important to show that there were many who opposed it. I think it made a difference. I marched against Murdoch (this is before I started working for him -- the sellout in a sentence: I fought the Man and the Man won) and got concussion and a night in a cell.

Now I fight all my battles in the virtual world. Have I stopped caring? I don't think so. I try to do my caring where I live. I truly believe that's how the world changes. We change the people round us and the ripples spread. Well, maybe. But I never did see the point of the socialist who didn't live it. (Not that I'm a socialist. Not with five mouths to feed, albeit two of them are still getting theirs by umbilical. Not an anythingist. There never was a bag I could fit everything I believe, feel, hope and dream into.)

I have never yet learned that you cannot figure it out. When that lesson finally sinks home, I think I will know that I can stop overthinking it and start living it. Gawd, I hope that day comes soon. I'm tired and the grey has run the black clean away.

Still, I raise my glass (JD -- forty bucks a bottle but the babies can't suck up every dollar) to all the tired old men who still believe that the world can be made good and we can make it that way if we come together.


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