Twenty seven eight
"On an interpersonal level, this brazenness is even more head-spinning. Often both predator and victim know it’s a lie, or the predator is accusing the victim of exactly the thing he or she just did, or the lie has been expressed using the victim’s own language."
This is what really undermines your self-belief: the person who will lie to you in the full mutual knowledge that it's a lie. It's not just that they'll lie to other people -- lots of people do that. It's that they lie to you and, here's how you know you're dealing with a "Dark Personality", not just expect you to believe it but challenge you with it. One Dark Personality of my acquaintance likes to tell you what just happened but exaggerate a detail. You both know they're lying. They'll say you shouted when you were barely any more than whispering; they'll say you were aggressive when you were crying; they'll say you were violent when they hit you. You can't combat it because what can you do. You know they're lying and you know they know. It's how you first realise you are stuck with one: the slightly different version of what just happened. It's a sort of gaslighting, yes, but I think when someone gaslights you, the key idea is that they are trying to convince you that you should change your mind. Yes, you both know they're lying, but the key idea is that your reality is undermined. With the Dark Personality, there is a disregard for what is real. They're not trying to convince you. They simply don't care what you think is real because they don't care either.
posted by Dr Zen @ 5:15 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home