Cocktopussy
[spoilers follow]
So I can't be alone in being disappointed that Maud Adams isn't a woman with eight vaginas?
Oh, I am? Well, it wouldn't have surprised me. After all, this is the film where Roger Moore dresses not just in a gorilla suit, but as a clown. It's enough to give you nightmares.
About Octopussy. I have no real idea what Adams was in the film for, apart from being Bond's shagpiece. She ought to be a villain, but isn't. And she doesn't do anything you'd really miss if she didn't bother. And why is she not Indian? No one is, except for a tennis player and some bad guys. And a couple of them just might have been Cockneys n blackface.
Seriously, is it that racist? Well yes. I don't expect 1980s James Bond to quite come up to the mark judged by our standards but this doesn't even try. The India it's largely set in is a fantasy: all fakirs, snake charmers and colour. The villain is played by someone who very obviously isn't Indian. And at one point Bond throws a grinning minion a wad and tells him that will keep him in curry for a while.
I don't know what's up with Bonds of this period, but the plot seemed fiercely obscure. Something to do with nuclear weapons in Europe and something something Faberge eggs. What that had to do with octopuses, I don't know.
Oh wait, Steven Berkoff. He was a baddie of some sort. Dunno. Couldn't figure out why he was full-on munching the scenery but he set new standards for crazed overacting. And let's face it, Bond is not short of pantomime insanity.
The action's quite good, just the right sort of gimmicky, and I have to say, that's what I remember Moore best for. Well, that and oneliners about shagging. And there's plenty of hamfisted "let's try that laters". The problem of age is improving (the good thing about a reverse marathon!) but it's still real. Moore is just a bit old for swinging from a train. And now I'm older,x I sort of realise why I had a lingering feeling that Moore was rapey. It's not that he forces himself on anyone in this film (he's quite respectful really). It's that he has no chemistry with Adams or anyone else. In three films, he's had no spark with any woman. He's handsome, smooth, debonair even. But he's not phwoarrr. He's got no sex.
Look, it wasn't terrible. It was just bumph in between action scenes. It didn't make much sense and it wasn't very exciting and it was racist as fuck. Oh wait, that makes it sound terrible, doesn't it? And Bond dresses as a clown and anyone who knows me knows I don't tolerate clowns. So, I was going to say C/D but actually, it's a D. I'd never watch it again. There's nothing in it that would make me want to, whereas most of the other films at least have a little something something.
posted by Dr Zen @ 8:07 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home