My tiny dreamThe other day I had a vivid daydream of myself in a bath. I often dream of baths. I think the reason is that I'm a big man, and would need a big bath, so if I picture myself in a bath of my own, I know that I must have a level of material comfort that would allow me to have acquired one. I used to dream of a cottage with a walled garden, which had the same nuance of homeliness for me, but not any more.
I am relaxing in the bath, carefree, and I feel I know that somewhere in the house is a woman who loves me. She is not just someone who says she loves me, not someone for whom love is simply an expression of a desire to be loved, but someone who does love me. She needs me, wants where she can to please me and for me to please her, recognises what I need and where possible, gives it to me.
She would never let me spin in loneliness, as I do now. She would find ways to let me know she was thinking about me even when she couldn't be with me, because she would know that I start to cease to exist when no one lets me know they know I am here.
I know, it is just a dream. It is hopeless as dreaming of cottages and pear trees. It seems tiny but sometimes even a tiny dream is not small enough to come true.