How could you reach the pearl by only looking at the sea? If you seek the pearl, be a diver: the diver needs several qualities: he must trust his rope and his life to the Friend's hand, he must stop breathing, and he must jump.   Rumi

Sunday, January 30, 2011

You are wrong about me

You were wrong about me. I cannot say how but I know you were. Sometimes I feel like I have to believe that or I will dissolve and sometimes I just believe it.

I made my money this month. I felt the fear and I withstood it. I won my money back because I'm good enough at it to do that, and I made some dollars from coaching and made my money. I keep turning up. You think I wasn't worth anything and however little I am worth, I keep turning up.

You were wrong about me because you misunderstood who I am. I am humble and I don't think that's a sin. You think you should have pride when there's nothing to be proud of. You think the abstract means more than who we really are, and I never will. I never will, and I have to be happy with that.

You were wrong about me. I am happy with who you are because I'm adaptable. I'll take goodness from wherever I find it and make what I can of it. You think that goodness is not enough, that it's not worth nurturing. You're wrong. I'm not ever changing my mind about this. You're wrong and I don't have to share your belief that people are not worthwhile.

You are wrong about me because I'm trying. I'm willing to fail and I do, God knows I do. You should have loved me. If you had, you would have had everything you wanted. I'm like that. I'm like a well you could have drawn water from if you only knew how. You think there's a secret; there isn't. You are wrong about that too.

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