Ups and downs

Playing poker can feel like someone is kicking you in the guts, over and over. You play your cards, make the right bets and get killed. The guy who bets all his cards, even the offsuit rags, picks up every pot. When you have pocket cowboys, someone else has pocket rockets and you go all the way for your shafting, spewing chips as you go. Every draw you try for, you miss, two, three, four in a row when the odds are less than two to one each time. You start thinking you were wrong about yourself, that you can't win. In two hours this morning, I lost $30 (American, to make it all the more painful). That doesn't sound like much, but it's 60 big bets. Winning 5BB per hundred hands makes you a huge winner; losing 5BB per hundred means you are running very cold. In two hours, I'd played only about a hundred hands.

But poker is also the lady who finds you bleeding in the gutter, picks you up, dresses you down and kisses you for luck. In the next two hours, I won every cent back. No tilt, no stupid bets. Just solid play. I'm learning to win at poker but better than that, I'm learning to lose too.

Glossary

For the benefit of the nonpoker-literate who might want to read and understand these posts (a very select few, I should think!), I'll explain some of the jargon.

Offsuit rags: in holdem, each player is dealt two hole cards that only they see. They can be suited (both of the same suit) or offsuit (different suits). Rags are nonpicture cards. Most good players won't often play two cards that are both unsuited and of low value.

Pocket cowboys: A pair of kings. This is a very good starting hand.

Pocket rockets: A pair of aces. This is even better.

Spewing chips: Betting when you think you're winning but, erm, aren't. This term applies to those times you should stop but don't.

A draw: In holdem, once everyone has betted on or folded their hole cards, three cards are dealt face up on the board. These are called the flop. The idea in holdem is to make the best possible hand out of your hole cards, and five board cards: the flop, the turn and the river. There is a betting round before the flop, after the flop, after the turn and after the river. That's a lot of betting for those that want the action, and a lot of spewing if your hand is not as good as you hoped! A draw is generally speaking when you hold four cards and a fifth will give you a strong hand (although you can have draws to improve any hand). A backdoor draw is when you have three of the cards either in your hand or on the board. A backdoor draw needs two cards to turn up, so it's no use to you after the turn.

Big bets/small bets: I play limit poker online. This is not the same game you see on television (which is no limit, the game I play on Friday nights), although both have the same rules for making up hands and so on. In limit poker, bets on the first two rounds of betting -- preflop and after the flop -- are limited to the small bet (25c at the limit I play at). If someone has already bet the 25c, you can raise the bet to 50c and so on. There's a cap at a dollar. On the turn and river, the bet size rises to 50c, with a two-dollar cap. That doesn't sound like much, but a pot can rise to nearly $20. I lost a $17 pot this morning. I didn't think I'd win it but I couldn't release my cards. If the pot's that big, you'll bet just about anything and pray for luck, rain or insanity on the part of your opponents. The difference for no limit is that there is no betting structure. It's important to understand the concept of blinds. In limit poker, the blinds are forced bets, which each person in turn must make: the big blind pays a full bet, 25c, the small blind roughly half, 15c. In no limit poker, the blinds rise after a certain time at each level. I won't go into why but it helps the game along.

Some other bits that might help: Coldcalling means calling a bet and a raise. (If you're really struggling, calling means that someone has bet, and you put in the same amount of money to stay in the hand.) Mucking means the same as folding (the cards go into the muck). A set is three of a kind. Flopping a set would mean you have a pair and the board turned up the third of that kind. That's a good flop! Three of a kind is a good hand, although straights (five cards in a run) and flushes (five cards of the same suit) are stronger, and full houses (or boats, three of a kind and a pair), four of a kind and straight flushes (flushes that also make runs) stronger still. If the flop shows a pair, and you have another of the same suit, you've flopped trips. This is not as good as flopping a set for the obvious reason that someone else might have the other of that kind, but still it makes a strong hand. When you've flopped trips, you'll be hoping your other card comes on the turn or river to give you full boat, a very hard hand to beat. What if you and the other guy both have trips? Who wins at the showdown? Whoever has the higher other card. This is called the kicker. The kicker is always the highest card, if any, that you have in your five that doesn't make anything: so if you have AK and hit a pair of As, you have a king kicker because it's not part of the pair. If you hold A4 and the flop is 447, you have trips with an A kicker, and you're likely to get paid. (It should be obvious that flops can make or break a hand, and that knowing whether you've been made, broken or something in between is one of the skills all holdem players must master.) The nuts is the best available hand. Recognising what it is and knowing whether a/ you have it or b/ anyone else is likely to have it are basic skills in holdem. It's astonishing how many people are willing to play without having them. A "nut" hand, whether a flush or straight, is the best available with the board cards. Again, you should know what it is, if it's there. The nut flush is A high, but if the A is on the board, the player with the highest card in the same suit will have the nut flush. If you have the K, that's you. Hitting any flush will usually make you a winner, particularly if the board does not show a pair (in which case, only another, bigger flush will beat you). If you hold the A of a suit that has four cards on the board, there's no pair and someone else just bet, Christmas has come. You have the nuts and you're going to get paid.

posted by Dr Zen @ 3:50 pm