Thursday, December 31, 2015

My best year

Like all years this had its ups and downs. And it's a bit down at the moment. But I'll tell you what, I had the most amazing up this year and nothing can spoil it.

I met the woman of my dreams and I do have some pretty spicy dreams. In this particular one, I find a woman I didn't even believe existed-- well, wait, look no one reads beneath the fold even if they read the first bit, so I can say this.

I have never known anyone I could believe would fulfil me. I have never known anyone I could believe could help me find happiness -- not just the fleeting joy I have sometimes known but is all I've known -- but genuine lasting contentment. I have long had fancy ideas about love, about its value, about redemption, about there being people we can meet, naked and real, and not shy away. But I have never known anyone like that.

I have never known anyone who I want to have sex with -- I mean, I generically want it like most men, but I've never got much beyond yeah, okay, with any woman; I've never felt burning desire or anything that could even begin to be labelled passion.

I have never known anyone I could trust, that I didn't need to keep everything wound tight, that I could tell the truth to rather than say nothing for fear of making a constant liar of myself. I have never known anyone who can make me laugh easily and often.

Outside of my family, I have never known anyone I could not bear to lose.

Now I have.

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