The need to speak, even if one has nothing to say, becomes more pressing when one has nothing to say, just as the will to live becomes more urgent when life has lost its meaning.   Jean Baudrillard

Friday, April 02, 2010

x

Dear you

I am giving up writing. I will let myself be a hack, write my pirate book, become wealthy I hope, but I am giving up my belief in myself as an artist.

I believed that I could write what it is, see into the world and make it into art. I believed that I could write work that would move millions. I believed in myself, that I had been right not to become like everyone else, to make money everything and value nothing and nobody, to not lose faith that I had something to offer that ultimately could not be resisted.

But I can't. I can't move even one. I have tried the artifice I have and it was worthless, pointless. How could I ever have imagined that I could make something that people would cherish when with the coin I have, I cannot buy hello?

That is all. I could write more but I already told you I love you and that's all I had to say anyway. That is all.

D.